Oh Bikaner how I loath you! If I thought Darjeeling was bad it would be like Disneyland compared to Bikaner. I showed up at 0500 in the morning from a 7hr night bus ride from Jaisalmer. The bus ride was kind of cool as I had a coffin like, upper sleeper bed that was comfy for only $6.70 USD. I had looked up a hostel beforehand and got a phone number stating to call when arrived, as they would come and pick you up as finding the hostel would be to hard.

I got a rickshaw driver and gave him the number to call. He did but no one answered as expected. I took the paper back and said no worries but he was so desperate for business that he grabbed the note I wrote it on and started asking some guys across the street where it was. He came back and said he knew now… I should have known better. He took me about 8km outside the city to some small farm looking house with a sign that said something similar but not even close to what my hostel name was. I just looked at him and said, “What tourist would stay at this place let alone know where it was? Just take me back to the train station man, as you don’t know where I need to go!” He kept trying to ask people on the way back but all he was doing was making circles. I finally just told him to take me to any hotel; I didn’t care which one, just something close in town under $7.75 USD. He said no problem, which left me on edge until he finally found one. It was one block from where he picked me up and I paid him his 50Rs for the pointless ride. I wish I had known that this was just the start of my never-ending hate for this town.

I got checked in and my room was good but nothing to special for a hotel. I went back out and caught a bus to go see the Rat Temple. It was the only reason I wanted to come to this town and was excited about seeing it for the first time. Ride out was smooth and easy, with an old Indian women literally sleeping with her head on my lap the whole way. Was strange to say the least but it was 10x better then all the other people who had to stand in the aisle for the 45min ride.

Seen the temple and liked it but it wasn’t as cool as I expected but that’s my fault for hyping it up in my mind too much. I stayed for two hours and caught a bus back into town, this time it was empty and had the whole back row to myself. We took off and after 15min it started to get full with other passengers, to whom one guy sat next to me but before sitting down he leaned over and shut my window in my face. I would compare that to spitting in my face, as it was boiling hot that day. I just looked at him, said “WTF man!” and slammed it back open. He just gave me a dumb look like I was crazy and I gave him a return look of “touch me and you die”. We didn’t speak to one another the whole ride, go figure huh.

I get back to town and when walking back to my hotel some rickshaw driver spat out his window with the dark red tobacco they chew and it went all over my leg and sandal. Still fuming about the bus ride I said screw this town, as it’s just a dump and went straight to the train station to buy a ticket out. I was planning on staying 3 nights there but the luck I was having I wouldn’t make.

I get to the train station and find the tourist information counter, reserved for foreigners, senior citizens, disabled people and women. The line was full of men in the range age range of 20-40. Whatever, I just want the hell out of here!

I wait in line for 5min and a guy walks up and cut the line in front of me. I tap him on the shoulder and throw a thumb over my shoulder to say “back of the line!” and he just bobbles his head and does so a little upset I had called him out. His revenge was spooning me from behind, as he stood two inches from my backside. Blood starts to boil even higher, as I want to throw a reverse elbow into his gut.

I have now waited 30min and when I arrived there were 3 men in front of me, now there are 5. I see what is going and know the only way I’m going to get a ticket is to start spooning the guy in front of me as well. So I start the rap tactic without kissing first for permission. 45min into it, I am finally one guy back from the window slot, with both hands around the guy in front of me, protecting him like he was my high school cheerleader girlfriend at a rave party. I’m growling at people (literally) and wish I had fangs and could make white foam on the corner of my mouth. At this point I actually wish I could growl like a lion, I mean you wouldn’t think that to be a cool super hero power but at this point I would have lit some Indians up with it and put the fear of Tarzan into them for getting close to me. Anyways, it’s the only thought keeping me distracted from hitting the 30 year old guy to my left and stiff arming the lady (who’s husband is standing right behind her) that just walked up 2min ago and already had her hand in the window slot.

I’m going to jail, I just know it! Only question is how much it’s going to costs me and for how long I will stay there. I finally bark loudly at an old man trying to wedge in front of me. He finally ask me where I am from to which I responded “F*cking American and I’ll go Hiroshima before I let you cut me off!” He backed up but it did little good to impress the others. The guy in front of me is done with his ticketing finally and I lower my shoulder and start to try and clear a lane like I was a center for the Boston Celtics. I shove my hand into the window with my passport and 5 more hands somehow fit over the top of mine inside that 8in hole of glass. As expected the booking agent took someone else’s request and then another and another, skipping over me every time. I finally said the hell with it, wadded my request up and threw it up in the air and started pushing my way out. To say I was on fire would be an understatement and almost had my first travel breakdown moment in India. I guess India breaks everyone at some point but was glad I had enough sense to get the hell out of there before I started throwing left hooks and doing WWF smackdowns.

I went back to the hotel and at this point I just want the hell out of dodge! I ask if they can book tickets and the kid at the counter has no clue what I was asking. He finally finds someone who speaks some English and she gives me direction to a travel agent shop. I take off looking for it and finally find it. The guy working there spoke English I know but the words coming out his mouth were nothing I could recognize. All I got was that there were no trains for 3 days, to which I responded, “You mean I can’t leave this town for 3 days, horse sh*t!” and walked out. Walking further and further down the road for any sign that said bookings… I can’t find anything. I ask a few people on the street and they all kept telling me the shop I just went from and I wasn’t going back there again. I finally see a very nice hotel that said they had a travel desk for booking transport tickets. FINALLY!

I walk in, ask where the travel desk is and the man behind the counter says they don’t have one. I pointed out the door and said that the reason I walked in was because they had a sign that said they did have one and that I wanted to book a train ticket to New Delhi. His response was a lighthearted taunt-laugh of “If you want a train ticket sir, you go to the train station to book it” while bobbling his head back and forth. Oh, now I got a smart ass… I can play that game to!

“Have you ever tried to book a train ticket in this town sir? I already tried and almost got into a fight. I just want the f*ck out of this sh*t hole town and I don’t want to have to kill someone to do it! If you’re just going to make jokes, then keep it to yourself man and don’t waste my time as I won’t waste yours!”

I instantly felt bad for saying it as it was a lot stronger then I intended it to be but I was at my limit at this point, as I seriously thought I was going to have to start walking to get anywhere. I turned to leave and I heard “Sir, Sir!” Crap, I’m going to end up fighting this guy now, I thought. I spin around half expecting him to be standing on top of the desk counter about to go Rey Mysterio on me. When I turn I asked what and he said, “You really want to leave this town, yes?” I nodded my head and said, “I don’t know what I did in life but I have had nothing but bad karma in this town. Everyone is rude here, I can’t get anything and it’s been by far the worse place I have stayed at in the 4 months I have been in India. I just want to leave and forget this place!”

He said he felt bad that his town had not been good to me and he felt guilty for it. He asked me where I wanted to go , when and that he would call a friend and see if he could book me a ticket. Within 5min he said he had a train leaving the next day and told me the price, stating he wasn’t going to even ask for a commission. I told him I’d take it and didn’t care what the price was, I just wanted out on the first thing smoking! He got my info and said I would have the ticket in my email inbox in 30min and that he hoped I wouldn’t say any bad things about his city. I was honest when I said I couldn’t do that because if I did it would be like me lying to someone but I would tell people about the nice man who helped me when I needed it most because he could. He said that was fair enough and even refused the tip I tried to give him for helping me.

I don’t want to ever go back to Bikaner and hope others don’t have the same adventures I did there but in the end, it goes to show you that not everyone is bad and that if you look long enough someone will help just because they can.

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