So it’s 1:30 am and my place is a wreck. I have 1 backpack and 1 normal bag to fit everything I will need for the next 6 months in India… and it’s not working! Seriously I have to scale down as this photography equipment is killing me.
The packing though is exciting because it means I’ll be on the move again finally. This has been the longest I have been home in Missouri in almost 5 years, as I think I have only been back no more then 4 months total in that time. So the excitement is building even with the stress of packing but I have to admit something… I have some fears about India!
Fears For India (warning some are comical)
1) The Endless Diarrhea: Oh yeah, I get sick everywhere and wish I could eat things like Rambo that would normally make a billy-goat puke but I can’t. So I fully expect to get to know the Indian toilet system inside-and-out before I leave.
Solution: I bought for the first time the largest bottle of Loperamide Hydrochloride (basically Imodium AD) I could find. And yes, walking up to the counter with Zip-Loc bags and a bottle of that will get you weird looks from the cute checkout girl but screw her! It will hopefully literally save my ass later.
2) Worms, Diseases and Anything Between: Man just looking at the water there, walking barefoot or just getting a bug bite can be a lifetime of pain. I mean, we have all heard the horror stories of that guy who went for two weeks, got a bug bite and 6 months later there is a worm growing around in his brain… and they can’t remove it without killing him!
Solution: Freaking great karma! I do mean it, as I don’t really think there is much I can do about a bug bite, so why worry? Washing my hands 24/7, not biting my nails at all and praying the shots I got work is all I got. I guess the first thing I’ll do when out of India is drop a squat in a stool cup and hope all is ok. This has been the best advice I have gotten yet and makes sense. If caught early most stuff is no big deal.
3) Deadly Snakes: Before you laugh, know this, I have two reoccurring dreams since I was a kid and one of them is about poisonous snakes (don’t ask me about the other). I don’t freak-out when I see a snake or anything and have no problem holding snakes. If I do see a poisonous snake and it’s anywhere around my area, its dead though… as I don’t play with that! India is home to some of the nastiest snakes in the world and living conditions make it ripe for them to live.
Solution: As much as I think it would be cool to have a pet mongoose in my backpack I know the little bastard would eat every electrical cord I had, piss all in my pack and pretty much push me to the point of killing it to. So no mongoose and have to work around this but camping under the stars will be out of the question for me.
4) My Camera Gear: Yep, I fear this most of all! Want to see me cry, then be there when my camera bag gets jacked and you will. I have, thus so far, been super lucky and never been robbed in all of my travels but eventually it will catch up to me. One of the best parts about Asia that I love is being able to move about with my camera without fear when out, unlike in Latin America where it’s a risk every time. My fear is it will be stolen on a bus, train or in my room, which is the most likely way it will happen while in India.
Solution: Carry the camera with me at all times (which is why I’m there, to take tons of photos) and lock the computer up at all times when not using it. Pretty much let them steal my clothes if they want anything. My #1 requirement when picking a place to stay is WiFi (which I know will be next to none while in India) and my #2 is a place with lockers. Hostels that don’t have lockers are a no-no for me and if I get a private room it must have a lock on the door. I never let the maid clean my room when traveling, as normally I’m only in a place for a few days and I’m not so lazy I can’t make my own bed. If I need a fresh towel I can just ask for it versus letting a stranger into my room and run the risk of something coming up missing. Better safe then sorry is the plan.
5) Internet: This might sound funny to some but yes finding good Internet connection will be hard when not in the major cities. Even if I find Internet it might be so crappy that I can’t update you regularly. This is a major issue because I do some much photography and it’s hard loading large files when on the road.
Solution: I have two options: 1) put a satellite up my ass and hope I never fart/crap or 2) just suck it up and pre-write most future posts offline, then load them when I can. It’s not a perfect solution but I’m not the only travel blogger to have this issue when visiting India and won’t be the last but others have been able to do it somehow, someway… so I will have to too.
6) Indian Bathrooms: Squatting is for women damn it! I’m a man; I stand to piss and sit to crap! I won’t be in a Western world anymore and will have to become native with it no matter how much I don’t want to. I won’t go into details but I’ll tell you flat out I won’t be wiping my ass with my left hand either, this is where I will draw the line!
Solution: Carry as much TP as I can and hope I don’t fall backwards when squatting! Yeah there is no work around on this but it should make a few comical posts later once I master it (if ever). You have been warned!
Ok, seems like most of my fears deal with my ass more then anything, which might say something about me in many ways, who knows. But showing up in India without any fears seems a little naive I think. India is going to be a wonderful experience I know but I do have a few worries… just not enough not to go!
Part II will be why I’m excited about seeing India, my thoughts on it and why I always wanted to go.
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